


The Great Kitten Crisis

by cx_shhhh



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Kittens, M/M, literally too, lots of fluff, so many kittens, the slightest bit of angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:14:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24813658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cx_shhhh/pseuds/cx_shhhh
Summary: Grantaire receives kittens for his birthday! He needs help naming them, so the rest of Les Amis are recruited. Enjolras never thought he would be jealous of tiny felines, but he should know by now that anything could happen.
Relationships: Enjolras/Grantaire (Les Misérables)
Comments: 14
Kudos: 72





	The Great Kitten Crisis

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Charmybee12](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charmybee12/gifts), [cou_fey_rac22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cou_fey_rac22/gifts).



> Inspired by [this post](https://cx-shhhh.tumblr.com/post/616696197348982784/grantaires-birthday-cats-need-names-the-mother). Thanks, [lordofthebookthieves](https://lordofthebookthieves.tumblr.com/) and [cou-fey-rac](https://cou-fey-rac.tumblr.com/). May the khaos live forever.

It’s common knowledge that once presented with a cactus or a succulent that a name must be bestowed upon them. The same goes for kittens, of course. Kittens that Grantaire’s lovely friends happily gave him on his birthday. Kittens that fill the apartment with high-pitched meows and beg Grantaire for food. Kittens that he’s sick of referring to as “You” or “Cat”. Grantaire sits in his apartment, dangling a feather toy in front of the fluffy golden kitten that Bahorel gifted him. Grantaire can’t help but smile, delighted, as the little guy leaps up and attempts to catch the clump of feathers between his paws. A second after Thor decides that his curly black hair is much better prey, Grantaire has another kitten climbing up into his lap, and all of a sudden, he’s trapped.

Less than a week later, Courfeyrac marches right through the doorway into Grantaire’s flat, not bothering to even say a word of greeting before taking a kitten into his arms. “Alright, R. What are these cute lil’ fluffballs’ names?”

Grantaire sheepishly runs a hand through his wild hair and shrugs, “Good question. I was sorta hoping you all would do that for me.”

Courfeyrac puts the kitten down to cross his arms and stare pointedly at Grantaire. “Lemme text the others. Then we will christen these poor babies.”

“Um, okay. I don’t have a say in this, do I?” Grantaire asks, knowing for a fact that once Courfeyrac’s mind has been made, there is no going back. As if right on cue, the doorbell rings, definitely signifying the arrival of everyone else. Grantaire takes a deep breath and puts on a smile in preparation for Enjolras because once he sees him, he knows that he’ll just end up staring besottedly at him. It’s really all too much when Enjolras does walk in with his glorious hair and blue eyes that Grantaire could find himself captivated by for hours on end. Eventually, they all end up scattered on the couch and on the floor in a circle, cooing at the kittens while they sniff at fingers and clothes.

“So, how are we doing this?” Joly asks from behind his mask. His words are slightly muffled, so it comes out more like “Tho, how are we doing fis?”

Bossuet suggests spinning in a circle and pointing at a cat while yelling the first thing that comes to mind, Enjolras insists they all have patriotic names, and Jehan isn’t quite paying attention so much as trying to wrap their arms around all the kittens at once. All of those ideas are shot down quickly when Combeferre, ever the sensible man, produces a bowl and paper, telling everyone to write down some names for a drawing.

Grantaire waits patiently while all his friends pull constipated thinking faces and jot down their ideas. He stares at Enjolras, especially, whose brows end up so close together that they almost form an angry-looking “V”. It’s equally as amusing when his face suddenly lights up, and he writes what seems like a whole paragraph on that tiny slip of paper. Marius is the last to finish, punctuating his entry with a loud sneeze.

Each kitten is picked up in true Lion King fashion as names are read aloud. The first gray kitten is named Mothcat, and Combeferre looks as smug as the kitten, to absolutely nobody’s surprise. Liberté is the name given to another while Enjolras looks immensely pleased, and the golden one is appropriately christened Thor. The sweet kitten who won’t leave Grantaire’s lap is called Terra, and he leans down to press a kiss on her furry little head. Unbeknownst to Grantaire, Enjolras hasn’t taken his eyes off of him or the kitten since this whole party started.

“And the last kitten shall be named-” Feuilly trails off as he squints at the paper, “- Fluffysirmunchkinpants… the Third.”

Grantaire isn’t sure if that’s even a real name, but a startled laugh bursts out of him. “Wait, no way? Courfeyrac, that’s a ridiculous name.”

Courfeyrac holds his hands up in surrender and says, “I had no part in that. None of the names I dropped in were chosen.”

There are murmurs of confusion as everyone points at each other accusingly. Meanwhile, Grantaire picks Fluffysirmunchkinpants III up and holds him to eye-level. “Now, monsieur, who gave you that monstrosity of a name? Although it’s very appropriate, what a mouthful of a name that is! I’ll have to call you Fluffy from now on.”

Éponine surveys the room until her eyes land on Enjolras. Grinning triumphantly, she calls out, “Enjolras, I know it was you!

Grantaire whips his head around and stares at the man in question. “What? You mean to tell me you were for the monarchy all along? I will not stand for this foul trickery, Ange!”

That earns him a mocking eye-roll and a poke in the side. Grantaire rubs his cheek against Fluffy a few times while he pushes a paw into Enjolras’s face. Enjolras’s face does not hold an ounce of regret for that horrendous name. Fluffy mews at him, as if approving of his new name. Courfeyrac coos, “Aww, you’re a proper cat dad now, R!”

Grantaire just hugs all his feline children closer, burying his face in golden and gray fur alike, and retorts, “Don’t talk to me or my cats ever again.”

He earns himself a round of cheerful laughter. Cosette, Éponine, and Musichetta each scoop up a kitten to pet while they talk about something or other. Enjolras has Liberté and Fluffy chasing each other in circles around him. It’s like they share a mind with Grantaire because he would definitely also be scooting closer to Enjolras if he was brave enough to. He looks away for a moment and nearly has a heart attack when he turns back around and witnesses Enjolras bend down to kiss Liberté’s tiny head and boop her nose. Grantaire battles to put his heart back in his chest as Enjolras lets Liberté go to scratch Fluffy behind his ears. It’s all too much for him to handle, the man he loves interacting with the kittens he loves. 

It takes another few hours to get rid of everyone because they insist on saying goodbye to all five kittens. Soon enough, he’s alone in his apartment with newly named kittens being rowdy. Thor and Fluffy are engaged in a tussle while Mothcat meows loudly and pounces on Grantaire’s head. Thankfully, Terra and Liberté are sleeping in a peaceful cuddle pile on the couch, oblivious to everything else going on around them. Grantaire speaks out loud to himself, “Okay, you little furballs. Food and then sleep.”

If there’s one thing Grantaire can admit to, it’s that he loves being enveloped in the warmth and softness of five kittens sleeping in the same bed as him and the feeling of a tail tickling his nose. Terra burrows further onto his chest, head butting against his chin, and Grantaire can forget all his struggles in that moment.

* * *

A few days later, Enjolras has a crisis. Scrolling through all the selfies Grantaire sends the Les Amis group chat of him cuddling with his kittens has been a distraction for them all and a misuse of said group chat. They’re meant to be solving public issues when they can’t meet in person, but as of recently, the only meeting that’s been going on is Grantaire’s kittens being met with lots of heart emojis and cooing texts from his friends that Enjolras can practically hear out loud. It doesn’t really help that Grantaire, himself, pulls the goofiest faces or goes cross-eyed when a kitten places a paw on his nose.

Enjolras would not consider Grantaire to be a nuisance so much as someone who challenges Enjolras and makes him question his ideals, his morals, and his speeches. One thing Enjolras was sure he’d never question was his complete lack of jealousy towards Grantaire’s kittens, yet somehow, Grantaire forces him to do that too. Everytime Enjolras gets a notification from Grantaire, he fights the urge to barge into his apartment. Whether it is to scold him for being a distraction or stare in wonder as the man interacts with his kittens, Enjolras has no idea. Quite frankly, this whole issue is getting out of hand, and he needs to yell at himself and the others for giving Grantaire those little envy demons.

It gets worse when Grantaire decides that his cats need to be part of Les Amis meetings too. He just sits in the back playing with Terra and Fluffy while the other three end up in the laps of everyone else. Marius sneezes, and Joly wears his face mask more and more often. Enjolras finds himself fighting the kittens for everyone’s attention, so he really can’t be blamed for the harsh words he tosses in Grantaire’s direction.

“Grantaire, you should leave if you have nothing better to do than distract everyone with your cats and your alcohol.”

Grantaire’s blue eyes are full of mischief when he stands and holds Fluffy up to Enjolras’s nose. Enjolras looks down at the cat as he bats at his blond hair. Grantaire talks in a baby voice, as if speaking for the kitten. “The man who named me hates me? What have I done to deserve this? I’ve only shown you my love, and this is how I’m repaid.”

Enjolras blanks for a moment, almost wishing that Grantaire was speaking for himself and not acting all ridiculous(ly adorable). “Since you clearly aren’t going to take this seriously, just take your goddamn cats and go.”

He really regrets his sharp tone because Grantaire’s eyes become deprived of their light. Enjolras regrets it even more when Grantaire takes all five kittens back into his arms and presses some comforting kisses to their soft heads, whispering, “He didn’t mean to insult you. Enjolras is just jealous because I love you little monsieurs and mademoiselles more than I love him.”

If only Grantaire’s words did not sound so genuine. In that moment, Enjolras figures out the foreign feeling in his chest, the one that tells him how talented, how smart, and how kind Grantaire really is. Grantaire’s kindness is something that he hides behind his drink or that sarcastic smile, but Grantaire would help his friends and laugh with them or take in five kittens and split his love between them. Grantaire has the biggest heart in any man that Enjolras has ever come across, and he would be happy with even just a tiny fraction of it. 

The rest of their friends, having witnessed this entire exchange with wide expressions, pout when he drops his kittens back into the pockets of his huge jacket. Joly is the only one with a relieved grin as he happily doles out hand sanitizer. With one last dirty look at Enjolras, Grantaire exits the Musain, probably to cuddle his kittens or tuck them in with kisses. Enjolras shakes his head and frowns, trying to forget how cute Grantaire looked as he excitedly plopped Thor onto Bahorel’s shoulder or Mothcat into Combeferre’s arms.

The meeting ends with everyone significantly grumpier without kittens to cheer them up. All those disappointed faces plant a seed of guilt in Enjolras, and he has half a mind to demand Grantaire to let him hug Fluffy. Sometimes, Enjolras forgets he has a brain that makes him stop doing stupid things, so he does actually end up at Grantaire’s door, fist poised to knock. He feels like he should be more mentally prepared, but Grantaire and his cats won’t wait for him to center himself.

Eventually, Enjolras knocks, and when Grantaire opens the door, a golden blur comes barreling straight towards him. Claws dig into Enjolras’s leg, and he probably deserves that as well as the mixture of hurt and confusion on Grantaire’s face. However, Grantaire is a polite person when it comes to his own home, and they end up on the couch, sitting in awkward silence. Enjolras really can’t be held accountable for the fact that his brain isn’t working, and that’s probably why he blurts out something idiotic like, “I’m jealous of your kittens.”

Grantaire blinks in shock and confusion probably because he has no idea why Enjolras would say such a thing, much less be jealous of his kittens. Enjolras stews in frustration as Liberté climbs onto Grantaire’s shoulders, causing him to unconsciously press their cheeks together and scratch under her chin. “I have no idea what you mean?”

Enjolras sighs in exasperation and flails his arms around for a moment. “I’m jealous of your kittens. It means exactly what you think it means. You kiss them and give them so much attention and say that you love them, and I-”

He cuts off right then and there because there was almost no stopping the confession. Grantaire’s eyes are huge, and his cheeks are flushed adorably. He speaks up in a small voice, “And you…?”

Enjolras gulps, knowing that he’s passed the point of no return. “I’m pretty sure you already know what I’m about to say.”

Grantaire looks down and shakes his head. “It’s not the same, Enjolras. You definitely should just tell me.”

“I love you. Obviously. And I know I have no chance because, like you said earlier, you love your cats more than you would ever love- oof!” Enjolras is cut off because Grantaire decides that he needs to throw himself into Enjolras’s arms, dislodging Liberté with a loud yowl. “You thought I was serious? How can you be so smart and so stupid at once? Oh my God. I’ve loved you since before you all gave me my children.”

Enjolras, elated, really should get a new brain because his current one allows him to tug Grantaire into his lap and kiss him senseless. Grantaire relaxes into his arms and tries pressing even closer until there’s barely enough room between them for a kitten. Enjolras has his warm hands on Grantaire’s waist, a feeling that Grantaire never wants to lose, and Grantaire tugs the collar of Enjolras’s shirt to pull him down again when they separate to breathe. However, all Enjolras gets is a mouthful of golden fur when he leans down to kiss Grantaire again. “I swear, I love our children, but this is getting ridiculous.”

Grantaire’s laugh is brilliant and happy as he takes Thor away and settles him in his lap. “I’m glad you love them too, or I'd have to divorce you and be a single cat parent. Who knew that the great and mighty Enjolras, defender of worlds, might also be a cat dad?”

“As long as I get cuddle privileges too, I’ll happily be a cat parent,” Enjolras replies, revelling in the blush that spreads over Grantaire’s cheeks. He’s really too adorable like this, sitting in Enjolras’s lap like he belongs there with a kitten in his own lap. “I’ll demand lots of cuddles from you, Enjolras. I hope you won’t get sick of it anytime soon.”

Enjolras ends up sleeping with his arms around Grantaire. He wakes up to a fluffy tail brushing his nose and a Grantaire snuffling softly and nuzzling his chest. It’s all ridiculously domestic, and Enjolras feels warm inside as he drops a kiss into Grantaire’s hair like he’s seen him do so many times to his kittens. The tickle from the fur of whichever kitten is currently on his face causes him to sneeze, however, and Grantaire jolts awake, only to smile sleepily up at him and burrow back into the blankets. Unburdened, Enjolras murmurs, “Aww, you’re so adorable.”

  
Grantaire brings his kittens to Les Amis meetings without any complaints from Enjolras. He ends up covered in cat fur more often than not, but the wide grin on Grantaire’s face is so worth it, especially when Enjolras takes Liberté from Grantaire’s arms in order to lean down and drop a kiss on his lips.

**Author's Note:**

> Here’s my [Tumblr](http://cx-shhhh.tumblr.com/)...  
> I post a lot of Les Mis stuff, so perhaps something will grab your interest?


End file.
